ADVERTISE AT SCRAMBLED EGG HEADS, WORLDWIDE EXPOSURE

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*THE EGGHEAD BIO PAGE* |
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Would you like to meet
some of the Scrambled Eggheads?![]()
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We are Rightly and Leftly von Eggstein, your trusted banner holders.
We are twins better known as "double yokers" and appear on most pages.
You might wonder why we wear stovepipe hats, and we do too.
Our best guess is that it keeps our heads warm.
We were both layed in 1948 and a few times since. When were you layed?
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My name is Eggleton, and I want you to know how important
I am to you. You need me, because I am a Jack of All Trades and a Master of None.
I bring you chuckles and laughter for no reason at all.
Now, you get a chance to meet me. I was born in 1962, which makes me old.
Old is good for you, but not necessarily for eggs. We have a tendency to become ripe over time.
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My name is Eggawake, and my eyes are always open unless they're not.
I position myself at the beginnings of various areas of text as a point of emphasis and also as a bullet.
I was originally placed at the end of sentences, but I was replaced by periods, colons and semicolons.
When you see me now, I suggest something following, much like a human on a leash. Get it?
I also like to sit atop the copyright statement at the bottom of pages. I am also younger than Springtime and older than Sin.
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My name is Eggasleep, and my eyes are always closed unless they're not.
I position myself at the beginnings of various areas of text as a point of emphasis and also as a bullet.
I also often occupy the center of a line of sisters and brothers of Eggawake.
When you see me now, I suggest something on either side. I like the comfort and security this brings me.
I am only as old as I appear.
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My name is Eggbot. My job is to process anything that anyone wants me to. It is a good job.
Since this is the age of computers, one of the developers decided they needed a token robot with screens and treads.
As a result I was was created. As you can see, part of me is egg, and the rest mechanical devices.
The one marvelous thing about my composition, is that no one wants to cook or eat me. This is good.
I have no age at all, which makes me timeless.
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My name is Eggd'guy, and it is my responsibility to be responsible, hence the hat and the flashlight.
Like the marines, it is up to me to make sure you are guided and have all paths open to you.
I was born in 1964, but I don't remember a thing until 1966, a good year if you were not involved in a war of any kind.
Relax and let me guide you here and there. With an attitude like mine, I should have run for office, but they were too fast for me.
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My name is Eggdot, and I represent a single helping of scrambled eggs even though it looks like I am three.
In reality, I am showing you three expressions of the same helping. I do that on occasion.
It is my job to bring you the concept of a helping of eggs, even though I feel you really don't need much help.
Oh, well, you can't have it all. I am not old at all. Isn't that nice?
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My name is Egglaw, and my job is to point out the law, or at least which way it went. I like my job.
I get to wear a neat rig of guns, and I have a badge, not to mention a cool hat.
You listen to me when I speak, otherwise, Varmint, it's off to the hoosegow with you.
By the way, a "hoosegow" is an old western way of referring to a jail.
The name probably comes from the Spanish word "juzgado" where the "ju" is pronounced "who."
Don't ask me, who came up with this. Maybe, my friend Wholio or my other friend Whoan.
I am as old as the Old American West, so shake the dust off and get moving.
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My name is Eggleena, and I have a pickup truck. That means I have a Southern Accent. Get it?
I have three friends, one a hammer, one a wrench, and another a hammer. I have a belt, but we only just met.
I have a curl on the sides of my hair, so I don't look anything like my male counterparts, or other parts.
I fix things, and I am known for my talents. Ask any bull with a high voice. Get it?
We will meet again, and oh yea ...... don't mention my age or ask me how old I am unless you want to do the alto and tenor thing.
See you under the sink, partner.
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My name is Eggnurd, and you may wonder why. I really don't know, but my friends tell me that
it because I gawk, have big glasses with thick lenses and wear a beanie hat with a propeller on it.
I don't really see the connection, but I do see those on the back of your computer.
Some say I am nearsighted, but I have an open mind, therefore, I think I am farsighted ..... somewhat of a visionary actually.
My mother left just after I was plopped into a nest, and my father left shortly after I was scrambled.
I thank them both for not being here to see me now. Just imagine how bad they would feel for having left me.
Oh well. I am not old at all. I am quite fundamental and immature. Who wants to grow up anyway.
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My name is still Eggleena, and I wanted you to see me in my super pickup truck. Cool, heh?
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We are the Eggplate bother and sister act, Buster Eggplate and Bonnie Eggplate. We appear when appetites begin to sag,
and we feel a pepper-upper is necessary. You know the old adage in old monster movies, "Oh, please, don't eat me?" Well.
We say, "Oh, please eat me," and we are not even being rude or crude. What would you do with a pleading plate of scrambled eggs?
To date, no one has eaten us, so we continue to appear on Scrambledeggheads.com. Besides, our contract is not up.
Aren't we cute? We are not old either, and we don't have a pickup truck or any other form of transportation.
We just sit here and smile, look good, appear scrumptious and delicious. We are sexy, and we are young and impressionable
but not too young, if you know what we mean. See you at the bottom of many pages, where the air is ripe. Bye.
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My name is Captain Eggshop, and my job is to keep the goodship, "Eccoscramble" afloat. It is not odd to associate
knives and forks and maybe spoons with scrambled eggs, but in our case we use swords and billyclubs. Ah, maybe
it's the hat. Well, anyway, I run the ship, or so the crew tells me I do. Regardless, I run a tight ship and control the rum
by consuming it myself. We normally get where we are going, but by the time we get there, I don't care any more. Eh?
I am as old as ships of the 18th century, which makes me an expert in old things like creaking ships and leaking antiques.
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My name is Muzaicegg, and I control the music on this website. If you can tap to it, I control it. I love music,
and music loves me. Juggling CDs is not normal for the DJ type, so I invented the practice, and I am good at it.
Since I can juggle scrambled platters of all sorts from porcelain to vinyl, to CD to DVD, you can guess at my age.
I do have a claim to fame. Before I came on the scene, there was no hole in the center of any platters.
I put the hole in the platter. Love me for that, if for nothing else. You should have heard the platters with no holes.
Excruciating.
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We are the founders of Scrambledeggheads.com. This makes us special. From left to right, you have Egglet,
Eggra, Eggshot, Eggbutt and lastly, to the right, Eggella. These names, of course, are not real, and there are real
people behind them, but you will have to guess who they are. We will never tell. We make things happen here,
and we are responsible for everything that does not call for any criticism, rock throwing, or such. We are considered
to be the Scrambledeggheads "good guys." Just ask us. In times of crisis, we are not to be found. At times where
we are needed, we have every excuse in the world, but we are cute. Unfortunately, we get ourselves into situations at times,
you know, the ones that splatter the platter, spill the eggies, drop the shellborn. We are as old as this site, and therefore,
remain reluctant to do more than pay a token appearance in many situations of comedy and cartooning. Greg is
responsible, but don't tell him we told you that. He is liable to give us a swipe or two, maybe a color change, or a
less amorphous appearance. We are happy, and he speaks through us. We are vehicles only. Don't hold us to a thing. OK?
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Here is where we live and where it all began. It is, of course, a diner. Scrambled eggs and diners have always had a lot in common.
The next time you go to the diner, look around and see if any of us are congregating in a large pan on the steam table, or hiding
under a deluge of cream chipped beef or sidling up to a few links of sausage, slabs of bacon, a patty or two, or even pancakes. At times
we bathe in catsup, writhe erotically in currents of butter, and even stand alone, one at a time, naked on the platter. Say Hi.

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We can be found in all diners, some restaurants, homes around the country and even the world. You might find some of our relatives, namely,
Fried Eggheads, Poached Eggheads, Raw Eggheads and even some with fancy names like Benedict, Florentine, Sordau,
Hussarde, Mornay, Pacifica, Montreal, Royal or Royale. We don't have to tell you that the Fried Egghead family descends into
the Overeezee, Sunnysideup, and Deadegg groups. We don't talk much about the Raw family. Say Hi to them anyway.
There are others, combined with other culinary beings. Of course, they are not as apparent as we are.
We are certain you have some obscure relatives in your tree; we have some in ours.
Please be reminded that the Eggplant family is not part of us, but we do relate to the Eggdrop, Eggnog and Eggnoodle families.
We do shy away from the Omelettes and definitely ignore the Powderdeggs.
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At this point, we would all like to thank the hen, who incidentally, came first.
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© 2005, Gregory St. John Taylor, all rights reserved